When I was in high school, I became a professing agnostic. I thought that love was the answer to all the world's problems. It was at the height of the hippie era—free love; flower power. I tried to be loving and kind. On the outside I may have appeared that way, but on the inside, I was very unloving and intolerant.
When I went away to college, my philosophy of life changed from being loving to being popular. It seemed to me that girls who dated the most, partied the most, and drank the most were the most popular. Now, on a scale from 1-10, I was an undebatable 0 in all areas. So, I set out to change. I dated, I partied, and I drank—and I became popular. I joined a sorority and I was getting straight A's. But, I wasn't happy. I seemed to have the world by the tail. The truth was I felt like someone had me by the tail—swinging me in all directions. I took a course in Eastern Religions looking for answers. I went to midnight mass. My heart was searching for something. I later learned that what I was experiencing was summed up by Pascal, the great French physicist and philosopher, when he said, "There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing, but only by God, the creator."
During this time, a friend shared with me that Christianity wasn't a list of things to do and a list of things not to do. It was a relationship with a living God. She said that "Christian" really means "Christ in one"—Christ living in me, giving me strength and hope and love. Christ would not only love me, but He would give me the power to love others.
I had a lot of questions about the Bible and especially miracles. As I kept searching, I realized that the resurrection of Christ was the biggest miracle of all. As I looked into the historical evidence for the resurrection of Jesus, I became convinced that it was true. Why would the disciples die martyrs' deaths for a lie?
So, one night in church, I told God that I didn't have all the answers—I probably never would—but I was going to believe what the Bible said, and I was going to give my life to Him. It was the best decision I ever made. That night, I found what I was searching for. My life gained direction, purpose and meaning.
I once again believe that love is the answer to all the world's problems; and, now, I am connected to the source of that love—Jesus Christ. The Bible describes God's love in I Corinthians 13. It says, "Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love is not boastful or arrogant, does not act rudely; it does not try to get its own way; it is not easily provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered. It does not rejoice in wrong doing but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always think the best of him and always stand your ground in defending him. Love never fails." There was no way that I could have ever loved people with that kind of love, on my own. I am only able to love others in that way, as I allow God to love them through me. The source of true love, Jesus Christ, now lives in me and He can live in you, too!
© Copyright 1996, Campus Crusade for Christ.
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