Charles Futrell’s Spiritual Journey

In the Beginning

Beneath life’s crushing load, I had to get out of the house on Christmas Eve of 2000. With nowhere to go, I wandered into a church. It was packed, every seat filled. Halfway through the evening service, I broke down and started screaming in my mind, "God, I cannot handle this stress. I need help!" I have no idea what went on during the service or what the minister said. I do remember that whatever the pastor said, it was as if he were talking directly to me. After the service, I quietly left. No one knew what was happening in my life. As the next Sunday approached, I began to feel a strong pull to go back to church. It was as if a vacuum cleaner was rolling over a tissue, and the tissue was being sucked into the machine. So, I went to church that next Sunday.

“That is what people do,” you might say, but not me. For you see, in the 50 years before, I only went to church for weddings and funerals. What I had done, without knowing it, was to invite God into my life. There were no outside influences that brought me to God. Only His quite whispering of where to go that night, and only the stresses of life He created, and a church He had opened at the right time in my life, led me to Him.

Church was a place to go for tranquility in a rough storm. I felt at peace sitting in the sanctuary. It was the most powerful force in my life, as it is today. Yet in the beginning, I had no idea what the pastor meant by the material in his sermons. I would sit and pray for help and give thanks for the relief. To build a relationship, one has to spend time with a person. Unknowingly, I was beginning to build a relationship with God.

Rebirth was Long and Painful

Almost immediately, changes started in my life. I was being changed without realizing it. My complete rebirth, however, was to be a long, painful process. God put me in circumstances which created intense stress. He did not let up. He intensified the load until I finally gave in and said, “You take it from here, God. Do with me what you want.”

Sudden Conversion

Rebirth takes place in many ways. Mine seemed to closely follow the characteristics of  a sudden conversion which are: (1) the convert suddenly feels in the grip of forces beyond himself, often in a moment of crisis; (2) an act of surrendering or giving in and accepting rather than confronting or rebelling; (3) intense feelings of unworthiness, of sin, and of guilt. The first characteristic came instantly; the third later.

Who Is That Speaking?

Most of the world’s Christian denominations seem to say a person needs to ask for forgiveness of sins before rebirth. For the first months in 2001, I felt I was not a sinner. Sin was what I physically did. I was a good guy. While driving home from Church one Sunday morning in June of 2001, I realized what a sinner I truly was. Sin also included what I thought and what I should have done but did not do. Bam! In an emotional outburst, I cried out, “Forgive me Lord!” Within seconds, a strong, firm voice in my mind said something like, “You’re doing well on your repenting. A lot has been shown to you in a short amount of time and you’re handling it well. Don’t be hard on yourself. I like what you’re doing. You have come a long way in a short period of time. Don’t worry about it.” The grief of sin lifted immediately and has never returned. Yet, I am often reminded of something done wrong in the past or present, and I always ask for forgiveness even though I know my sins have been forgiven.

Success Is Empty

In 1999, I had reached all of my personal goals and was considering moving into another field or starting up a business. There were no more challenges. Financially, I could stop working. By all standards, I was a success, yet life was empty. Not until some time in 2002, did I realize the emptiness that worldly success can bring someone. Only through getting to know God did I realize this truth.

Specific Changes

Movies, television, jokes, music, and magazines I used to enjoy slowly became offensive to me. Social issues, such as drinking, abortion, the death penalty, war, and poverty, moved from my not caring, to my asking what the Bible teaches me to do about these and other issues. Slowly, the Bible became my moral compass, never changing, always pointing to how God wanted me to think and behave.

Self-Centered I Am!

Over and over, I read and heard about placing God first in my life and to love my neighbor as myself. This led me to see how self-centered I am. Once I realized this, I wondered whose lives are more important than mine. Prayer showed me how placing God first in my life caused my love of others to increase. The more I love God, the more my love for others, such as my wife, children, friends and students increased. Wow!

Scriptures direct us to place God first, then our spouses, children, family, and all others before ourselves. Is this hard to do? You bet! It is a constant struggle to continue turning from the ‘old’ me to the ‘new’ me. Once a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, it never wants to go back to the life of crawling around in the mud and slime of the world. Neither do I!

“If I am going to learn about God, it is going to be up to me,” I often thought. Christ’s teaching of, "Search for me with all of your heart and you will find me," kept driving me to read, study, pray, and finally join a group of people that at one time I did not care much about. This was a dramatic change as well.

Mentors Help

As a professor in the Marketing Department at Texas A&M University, the Lord made available faith mentors; people who I could ask my silly questions; guys who would drop everything to listen to and provide answers to my questions. Steve McDaniel, Dick Hise, Duane Dewald, and Garry Smith—thank you! If you do not have a mentor, please ask God to send you several. They are so important to your faith journey.

Challenging To Explain

Throughout the New Testament, Christ and others tell the reader that once you are reborn, wonderful things will be revealed to you. This began happening to me. We have the Spirit of Aggieland at Texas A&M University. An outsider cannot understand this spirit, this culture at our University. Yet as an insider, I cannot explain it to an outsider. The same is true of my rebirth. Only through rebirth will one understand. God clearly tells us that truth. Yes, I have questions, but in the beginning I told God I would step out in faith, not understanding, blindly allowing Him to lead me to do things I did not understand and relying on Him. My mind is incapable of understanding all. Actually, I do not want to understand everything in the spiritual world. My human emotional system could not withstand its impact. I leave it up to God to show me what He wants me to know.

Marketers Need to Know

For me, marketing folks must understand this huge faith marketing segment. Most importantly, how can I discuss ethical behavior in the workplace and marketplace without stating that we should always follow the Golden Rule in dealing with others? Thus, periodically, faith is discussed throughout class.

Incorporate In All Academic Areas

One of the passions He keeps in front of me is to incorporate spirituality in all of my writings and research. Beginning in 2003, two of my textbooks slowly began incorporating spirituality (see //futrell-www.tamu.edu, Bio). These personal selling books are used all over the world in several translations. Can you imagine what the student and professor in China, for example, will think when they read about the Golden Rule of Personal Selling? “What is the Golden Rule?” they will first wonder. Yes, this is a huge leap of faith trusting that He is wanting this done on His behalf. Yes, it is a little scary.

Time To Go

Thank you for listening. Contact me any time. I would love to hear from you on how you are doing your utmost on His behalf.