Issues Tearing Our Nation's Fabric The Center for Reclaiming America

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Breakdown of the Family
Chapter Three

Marriage is a sacred institution—the most basic and essential building block of a healthy society. The design of the family was instituted by God and rests on the marriage covenant and a vow of commitment between a man and a woman to live together in love and unity for a lifetime. Since the end of World War II, however, the institution of marriage has declined, and social conventions that depend upon strong families, from child-bearing to the preservation of vital communities, have suffered grave harm.

A study of the breakdown of the family, conducted by Dr. Michael Rendall of the College of Human Ecology at Cornell University, concluded that the decline of marriage has been the single most important demographic change in this country since the end of the war. Literally hundreds of disturbances in our culture can be traced to the shift of essential values. Rendall says,"Men and women now marry increasingly later in life, are increasingly likely to never marry, have become increasingly likely to divorce and, most recently, to cohabit instead of remarrying and to cohabit prior to a first marriage."

"Further," he adds, "there has been a trend toward redefining the marriage relationship towards a more equal ‘division of labor’ between the man and woman." Clearly, such changes have done great damage to the concept of family formation in this country, as elsewhere. But even greater harm comes from the fact that very private and personal relationships between husbands and wives—including sexual relations, child-bearing, and child-rearing—have become common today outside of marriage. Consequently, in most cases the essential bonds of trust and commitment have been lost.

How could this happen? How could American society fall so far so fast? Obviously, there are many factors—the psychology of war’s end, an expanding population, loss of common cultural values, and the breakdown of authority. The dramatic acceleration of liberal social programs in the 1960s introduced many previously unknown pathologies into the nation. Authority was challenged at all levels as never before. Juvenile crime began to increase, narcotics and hallucinogenic drugs began to appear in the best of homes, and the institution of marriage came under frontal assault, particularly by feminists.

A Dangerous Scenario

In 1960 there were 74 marriages for every 1,000 unmarried women and 9 divorces for every 1,000 married women. By 1991, there were just 54 marriages per 1,000 unmarried women and 21 divorces per 1,000 married women. The marriage rate dropped a full 25 percent, while the divorce rate increased by 230 percent.

This dramatic shift of values has been shattering. Sociologist James Q. Wilson, author of The Moral Sense, writes,

The United States today has the highest divorce rate in the entire world. Half of all first marriages in this country end in divorce, and the mortality rate of second marriages is even higher. Adding to the problem is the fact that half of all divorces involve children, and researchers tell us that throughout the 1990s more than a million children each year will become the innocent victims of divorce.

Many other social problems, from illegitimacy to drug abuse, and from child poverty to welfare dependency, trace their roots to the breakdown of the family. Today, one child in five in this nation lives in poverty, and Bureau of Justice Statistics data indicate that of all age groups, children are the most likely to be poor.

With such disturbing trends, it can hardly come as a surprise that juvenile crime has become the most frightening reality of modern life. During the decade of the 1980s the number of juveniles arrested for murder increased by 93 percent, arrests for aggravated assault rose 72 percent, for forcible rape by 24 percent, and arrests for auto theft went up 97 percent. Since 1986 the number of 10- to 17-year-olds treated for knife and gunshot wounds in one hospital in the nation’s capital increased 1,740 percent. All in all, the fastest growing segment of the criminal population is children under 18 years of age.

Ignoring History

In 1965, as he prepared to launch his "Great Society" programs, President Lyndon B. Johnson affirmed the importance of family values in an address at Howard University in Washington, D.C. He said:

The irony of those words, spoken to a predominantly black audience at the leading black university in America, cannot be missed, for it was the Johnson Administration, more than any other, that must bear the responsibility for the re-socialization of the nation and for unleashing the armies of bureaucrats and theory-wielding experts into the family rooms and bedrooms of the nation. In the 30-plus years since those remarks the black family in America has been devastated.

Between 1960 and 1991 out-of-wedlock childbirth among blacks rose from 23 percent to nearly 68 percent nationwide. In some of the largest urban centers of the nation the rate of illegitimacy among blacks today exceeds 80 percent. The number of single-parent homes has, predictably, exploded as a result. The number of homes headed by an unmarried female has tripled since 1960.

According to Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan, who has written extensively on the breakdown of the family, only 6 percent of black children and 30 percent of whites born in 1980 will live with both parents through age 18. How different from 1950, when 52 percent of blacks and 81 percent of white children could expect to grow up with both parents.

Moral Relativism

The code of moral relativism that dominates social theory today holds that husbands cannot be expected to be faithful to their wives, nor wives faithful to their husbands. In a nation where half of our marriages end in divorce, social reformers seem to demand the freedom to destroy the other half, as well. But history reveals a very different picture.

Throughout the entire record of mankind the most essential custom for any successful society is that men and women should be united in marriage, they should bear and raise children whenever possible, and they should commit themselves to live godly lives. Families are the bedrock of a stable culture, and healthy families desire to rear healthy, morally responsible children.

To bear a child out of wedlock has always been considered shameful and a cause for reproach. In earlier times illegitimate children could not inherit the property or privileges of their fathers. And because such children would often lack appropriate social skills or the moral training necessary for good citizenship, they were generally relegated to second-class status.

The statistics cited above show that the risks are as great for fatherless children in our society now as in times past. Children without fathers of their own seek ersatz fathers, often in gangs or in adolescent sexual experimentation. Children looking for love in all the wrong places take out their frustrations and anger by wreaking havoc on society. One of the most startling findings concerning breakdown in our inner-cities is that most of the crimes are now committed by children without fathers.

As Christians, we cannot afford to forget these unfortunate children, or their mothers, who find themselves in reduced circumstances due to illegitimacy or divorce. We must also show love and compassion for those who have been injured by decades of bad philosophy and worse theology, and we must strive to give them God’s own word of hope. The common disrespect and abuse of the family must be stopped. Illegitimacy is wrong. It is a sin and will destroy a nation. But the word of God tells us that "whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins" (James 5:20).

How You Can Help

The first step for anyone who wishes to strengthen and encourage families is to understand these and other teachings of the Bible and to apply them in your own life. Throughout Scripture we have admonitions and instructions about the sanctity of the marriage relationship. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled," says the writer of the book of Hebrews, "but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

In the fifth chapter of Ephesians and the third chapter of Colossians the apostle Paul gives godly counsel on the relationships between husbands and wives. Wives should recognize the leadership and authority of their husbands; husbands must love and honor their wives. Peter warned of the risks for men who fail to observe the importance of the marriage bond. "You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way," he said, "as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered" (1 Peter 3:7 NASB).

Thankfully, there are many Christian organizations engaging these issues, with a growing number of research and public policy organizations on the scene speaking to the most pressing issues and representing the faith perspective in the political arena. Coral Ridge Ministries offers many resources to help parents and families. The Family Research Council in Washington, D.C., is a Christian lobbying organization that produces a dynamic series of studies, reports, speeches, congressional testimony, columns, newsletters, and articles dealing with the issues. Much of this material is available on the Internet.

Perhaps the best known Christian ministry in this area is Focus on the Family, headed by Dr. James Dobson, now reaching around the world with daily radio broadcasts, books, periodicals, tapes, course materials, and many other programs designed to build strong families. Promise Keepers, guided by former Colorado University head football coach Bill McCartney, is touching the lives of millions of men all across America.

You may contact these organizations at:

Family Research Council
801 G St., NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 393-2100

Focus on the Family
Colorado Springs, CO 80995
(719) 531-3400

Promise Keepers
P.O. Box 18376
Boulder, CO 80308
(800) 888-7595

For further reading:

James Dobson. Love Must Be Tough (Revised Edition). Dallas: Word, 1996.
Gary R. Collins. Family Shock: Keeping Families Strong in the Midst of Earthshaking Change. Wheaton: Tyndale House, 1995.
Charles Swindoll. The Strong Family. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994.

On the World Wide Web:

Coral Ridge Ministries: http://www.coralridge.org/
Family Research Council: http://www.townhall.com/townhall/FRC/
Promise Keepers: http://www.promisekeepers.org/
Best of the Christian Web: http://www.botcw.com/
Leadership University: http://www.leaderu.com/

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