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First Things
Books in Review
Women and the Common Life:
Love, Marriage, and Feminism
Copyright (c) 1997 First
Things 70 (February 1997): 40-43.
The Man Who Loved Women and Democracy
Women and the Common Life: Love, Marriage, and
Feminism. By Christopher Lasch. Edited by Elisabeth Lasch-
Quinn. Norton. 192 pp. $23.
Reviewed by Mary Ann Glendon
Historian and cultural critic Christopher Lasch occupied a peculiar
niche in contemporary social thought. His books, especially Haven in
a Heartless World (1977) and The Culture of Narcissism
(1979), were widely reviewed, yet his name is better known than his
ideas. (What must Lasch have thought when Haven in a Heartless
World, with its heavily ironic title, was repeatedly labelled a
sentimental tract on the family?) Fellow scholars cited him, but few
actually grappled with his challenges to their reigning paradigms. And,
except for a brief stint advising President Jimmy Carter, Lasch was
never taken into the corridors of power. His critique of the nanny state
made him useless to the liberal left; his jeremiads on consumer
capitalism alienated the economic right; and his tirades against
"elites" made him persona non grata to much of the knowledge class.
Unforgivably in the eyes of these latter, he was an unapologetic
defender of the lower-middle-class moral traditions from which many
knowledge workers of his generation had emerged and escaped. To make
matters worse, he was a leading champion of the good sense of the
citizenry as against the nostrums of bureaucrats and so-called experts.
In 1993 and 1994, while battling the cancer that claimed his life at the
age of sixty-one, Lasch completed The Revolt of the Elites and
the Betrayal of Democracy, and, with the help of his daughter, this
collection of essays on women, love, the family, and feminism. Elisabeth
Lasch-Quinn writes in her introduction that her father regarded these
essays (all but one previously published) as steps in a longstanding
search for connections between feminism and the modern ideals of
intimacy and domesticity. Their chief value, however, may well lie in
the way Lasch relates women's history to his lifelong concern with the
conditions for democratic self-government.
Long before women's studies became a fashionable field unto itself,
Lasch was writing about women's roles in history. Like Fernand Braudel
and others who ventured into the long-neglected territory of the history
of ordinary life, Lasch was a pioneer in connecting the history of
everyday things to larger economic developments. But his own work was
distinguished by a passionate interest in the lives of women and the
firm conviction that neither cultural history nor women's history can be
understood apart from one another. At a time when leading historians of
the family were concentrating on the English and French aristocracy,
Lasch focused on marriage and family life among ordinary Americans. His
historical vantage point yielded fruitful insights into contemporary
American life, which he presented in a highly readable series of books,
articles, and review essays for the New York Review of Books.
The overarching concept that, for Lasch, links changes in women's roles
and the family to the cultural history of the West in general is the
rationalization of everyday life. Lasch-Quinn summarizes his thesis
succinctly:
Much of modern life . . . rests on the
assumption that all realms of activity should come under
intense scrutiny, that science and rationality can best lead
to an understanding of human experience, and that only
trained experts can direct the conduct of daily existence.
The reordering of life according to such principles of
rationalization resulted from the tendency of corporate
capitalism and the modern liberal state to expand their
power, which they accomplished by means of a bureaucratic
structure and paternalistic ethos. The service professions,
acting on behalf of the state, intruded into the private
domain, helping to replace habit and custom with esoteric
techniques for addressing everyday problems, causing a
situation of dependence on elites that is antithetical to
democracy.
There, in a nutshell, is the line of thinking that made Lasch such a
blister to many liberals and conservatives: his condemnation of
corporate and governmental power grabs, his attachment to a robust
vision of democratic citizenship, and his conviction that the social
work establishment, educators, therapists, and other semi-skilled
technocrats had undermined the competence of the middle class, while
subjecting the poor to "new controls sincerely disguised as
benevolence."
Also central to Lasch's thought, and to these essays, is the belief that
a vibrant civil society (the "common life" of his title) is both a
prerequisite for, and a goal of, democracy. In the centerpiece of the
collection, "The Sexual Division of Labor, the Decline of Civic Culture,
and the Rise of the Suburbs," Lasch postulates that changes in women's
roles were importantly linked to the decline of communities of memory
and mutual aid.
The essay begins by challenging a standard historical narrative
according to which industrialization forced middle-class women into the
role of full-time housewives, a prison from which they were freed only
by the glorious revolution of the 1960s. In reality, Lasch claims, the
misnamed "traditional" household, where the wife is a full-time
homemaker, is of much more recent date. It was "a mid-twentieth-century
innovation," appearing on a broad scale only in connection with the
rapid growth of suburbs after World War II.
Lasch supports his periodization by reminding us that the period from
1890 to 1920 was a time of intense participation by middle-class women
in civic life. Homemakers and single women alike devoted much of their
time and energies to charitable activities, religious groups, and reform
movements, from the township and village level to the state and national
arenas. All that is well known, so why does the myth persist that most
women were isolated in the home once their husbands became wage earners?
Lasch plausibly speculates that many historians overlooked "women's
contribution to an intermediate realm of civic culture that belongs
neither to the family nor the market" because of a mind-set in which the
only work that counts is work for pay.
The era of women's busy and important civic service, however, wound down
as domestic helpers grew scarce, and as professional social workers and
administrators took over many of the activities that had previously been
controlled by unpaid volunteers.
It is Lasch's contention that when one takes all this civic activity
into account, and adds the wage work of lower-class women, one has to
move the appearance of full-time homemaking on a broad scale from the
late nineteenth century to the post-World War II period. To my mind,
however, Lasch's emphasis on community service misses the importance of
the earlier shift from the interdependent family farm or shop to the
wage-earner's household where women and children became much more
dependent economically on the husband-father than he was on them. That
momentous transition had at least as much influence on the dynamics of
family life and the shape of twentieth-century feminism as the later
move to the suburbs. Lasch is certainly correct, though, that the
homemaker-breadwinner household was far from being "traditional." Its
rise to predominance was historically unprecedented.
Lasch is also right to emphasize that women's roles did change
significantly with the exodus to the suburbs in the 1940s and 1950s. The
small, child-raising family became more inward-turning, and the bonds
between husband and wife and parent and child were expected to bear more
emotional weight. Moreover, when upwardly mobile men and women shook the
dust of villages and urban neighborhoods from their feet, they left
behind the civic cultures that had flourished in such places, along with
the old informal support systems among relatives and neighbors that
everyone had taken for granted. The homemaker was far more on her own in
the domestic sphere than she had ever been-and far more dependent on her
husband.
Of course, as Lasch points out, "privacy" was part of the appeal of the
suburb. Along with advice comes nosiness; material and emotional support
from neighbors and relatives entails expectations of reciprocity. The
suburb offered an escape from external obligations, interference, and
constraints:
[Suburbs] were designed to exclude everything
not subject to choice-the job, the extended family, the
enforced sociability of the city streets. Americans hoped to
put all that behind them when they headed for the seclusion
of the suburbs, where they were accountable it seemed to no
one.
Ironically, just when women found themselves with unprecedented amounts
of time for, and control over, the internal affairs of the household,
they began to feel less competent in child-raising and other tasks which
their predecessors from the beginning of time had handled with aplomb.
The shortage of informal sources of advice and support made itself felt.
Barely having emerged from older forms of subordination, middle-class
women thus fell into "a new kind of dependence, the dependence of the
consumer on the market, and on the providers of expert services, not
only for the satisfaction of their needs but for the very definition of
their needs." In this way, Lasch connects women's history to the erosion
of the conditions for democratic self-government.
Lasch finds support in Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique
(1963) for his contention that the loss of common life and the decline
in women's civic roles fueled the frustration that gave rise to the
feminism of the 1960s. Friedan's book was, he points out, chiefly
addressed to concerns of educated, suburban women. And the feminism of
such women, he argues, was bedevilled from the start by their dependence
on "experts"-doctors, counsellors, educators, child-raising specialists.
Respecting women too much to see them as passively carried along on the
wave of events, Lasch insists that women themselves bear a share of the
responsibility for the replacement of patriarchal authority with new
forms of social discipline. While homemakers were ceding power in their
own domains to experts, the feminist revolution, he charges, was
"hijacked by new economic and social elites."
This is consistent with Elizabeth Fox-Genovese's account of how official
feminism developed the same disrespect for unpaid work that Lasch
criticizes in family historians. The feminist movement's chief
prescription for women's emancipation was market work. Official feminism
embraced a male model for advancement in which family responsibilities
were subordinated to the demands of the world of work. As Betty Friedan
concedes in the June 3, 1996 issue of the New Yorker, feminists thus
distanced themselves from the concerns of the great majority of women-
who were and are trying to juggle work and family life under difficult
circumstances.
What Lasch adds to this picture is that married women's large-scale
entry into the workplace coincided with the shift to an economy that
"depended on work that had no other object than to keep people at work
and thus to sustain the national capacity to consume, which in turn
sustained production, which sustained . . . an approximation of full
employment-all without reference to the intrinsic quality of the goods
and services produced or the intrinsic satisfaction of the work that
went into them." Under these circumstances, Friedan's 1963 exhortation
to middle-class women to find work offering "initiative, leadership, and
responsibility" began to sound like advising Biafrans to adopt a more
nutritious diet.
Regarding the view that religion perpetuates false consciousness, male
domination, and female dependency, Lasch observes:
[Religion] is a challenge to self-pity and
despair, temptations common to all of us, but especially to
those born into the wrong social class. . . . Submission to
God makes people less submissive in everyday life. It makes
them less fearful but also less bitter and resentful, less
inclined to make excuses for themselves. Modern social
movements, on the other hand, tend to rely on resentment. .
. . They distrust any understanding that would seem to
"blame the victim." In this way they discourage the
assumption of personal responsibility.
Unlike more timid male academics, Lasch does not hesitate to offer his
thoughts concerning a better approach to women's issues. A feminism
"worthy of the name," he says, would seek to remodel the workplace
around the needs of the family, rather than acquiesce in the opposite
situation; it would cease disparaging unpaid work; and, above all, it
would "insist that people need self-respecting, honorable callings."
This concern with the human need for decent, useful work is a recurrent
theme in Lasch's later writings. In some respects, his thoughts are
reminiscent of Freud's apostrophe to work in Civilization and Its
Discontents. Like Freud, Lasch seems to write from the very core of
his being on this subject. "The only escape from the polarity of egoism
and altruism," he says, "lies in the selflessness experienced by those
who lose themselves in their work, in the effort to master a craft or a
body of knowledge, or in the acceptance of a formidable challenge that
calls on all their resources." Lasch describes those fortunate enough to
have such work as "blissfully self-forgetful."
But while Freud regarded such satisfactions as beyond the scope and ken
of mere common folk, Lasch railed against a social order where
opportunities for useful work are widely unavailable. His writing on
this subject has many affinities in substance, though not in tone, with
the social encyclicals of John Paul II, who consistently insists on the
importance of the noneconomic aspects of work, the dignity of unpaid
labor, and the priority of human over economic values.
From glimpses provided in his daughter's introduction, it seems that
Lasch himself found "blissful self-forgetfulness" in his work up to the
very end of his life. Lasch-Quinn writes:
Increasingly we worked every possible hour of
the day, my father making an adjusted routine according to
each stage of his illness. The sweatshop's compulsion,
though, was absent. Instead there was the strangest
exhilaration. This was confusing; we seemed to be so
content, even joyful at times, yet my father was dying.
Somehow, between frightening medical emergencies and
worries, my parents created a space of peace and calm. That
living room became for me a haven. . . . Sometimes it seemed
almost sacred.
Lasch may not have been a prophet in his own land, but he seems to have
been happier than prophets of antiquity. He was blessed with a joyous
family life, a deeply satisfying vocation, and a sober sense of hope
that he always carefully distinguished from optimism.
These essays are among the best contemporary writing in their field, not
only because their author was a fine historian, but because he was a man
who loved women. He loved them enough to cherish the details of their
everyday lives, to listen to their voices past and present, and to
believe that they themselves can shift the probabilities toward a
different and better future.
Mary Ann Glendon is the Learned Hand Professor of Law at Harvard
University.
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Updated: 13 July 2002
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