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CHAPTER 10
Friends: Risks and Rewards
Five years from today you will be pretty much the same as you are today
except for two things: the books you read and the people you get close
to. Charles Jones
The Problem
- Do you have a close friend? Not just someone to call for lunch,
but a genuinely close friend?
- Adult friendships are difficult to start and harder to keep.
- Most men have a friendship deficit. We don't have anyone who is
willing to just listen, to simply be a friend and listen, and not always
to have a quick solution.
Friends Versus Acquaintances
- You'd be fortunate if you had three real friends.
- Are the men you consider friends really friends?
Too Close for Comfort
- We sincerely want to have close friends, yet we fear letting
someone get too close. We worry that if someone really got to know us,
they wouldn't like us.
- We need approval, to be accepted by another person, but we fear
the opposite -- that we will be rejected.
Betrayed!
- Few types of emotional pain sear as painfully and as deeply as
that of betrayal by a friend.
- Trust, transparency, and vulnerability are the stuff of which true
friendships are constructed.
Taking the Risk
- If you want a real friend, you will probably need to be the one
who takes the initiative.
- The price of friendship is personal vulnerability.
- Transparency must characterize a friendship.
A Friend
- A friend is there when you need him.
- A friend keeps us on track.
- A friend helps us crystallize our thoughts.
- A friend will listen.
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Updated: 13 July 2002
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